Sterlarpjarn is a god.

She takes the form of an exceedingly fat, happy snail.

Sterlarpjarn created silver four quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Sterlarpjarn, she will celebrate by creating some universes.

If you do not believe in Sterlarpjarn, she will attempt to scare you with hail.

Sterlarpjarn's most sacred site is Hobeck in Germany.

Sterlarpjarn's Holy Commandments

1. Do not stand on grass.

2. Never hurt turtles.

3. Never approach forests carrying clay.

4. Do not count beyond four during ceremonies.

5. Never think about quantum mechanics near seals while wearing white ear rings and balancing nine nickel spheres on your chest.