Kopdonorttom is a god.

He takes the form of a blubbery, unjust porpoise.

Kopdonorttom created matter two billion years ago.

If you believe in Kopdonorttom, he will grant you five wishes.

If you do not believe in Kopdonorttom, he will denounce you as a heretic.

Kopdonorttom's most sacred site is Dornbock in Germany.

Kopdonorttom's Holy Commandments

1. Feed all hungry swans.

2. Put Kopdonorttom first in all things.

3. Always help seals.

4. Never record numbers.

5. Do not take Kopdonorttom's name in vain.