Xemwonnell is a god.

She takes the form of a rotund, smart squirrel.

Xemwonnell created a photon four years ago.

If you believe in Xemwonnell, she will look on you favourably.

If you do not believe in Xemwonnell, she will turn you into a giant slug.

Xemwonnell's most sacred site is Cobbel in Germany.

Xemwonnell's Holy Commandments

1. Never hurt mice.

2. Always act with purity.

3. Always remove corsets before entering holy places.

4. Do not fashion tools from iron.

5. Hide if nine turtles approach from the north.