Zansitrap is a god.

She takes the form of a very small, impressive monkey.

Zansitrap created a bottom quark three hundred thousand years ago.

If you believe in Zansitrap, she will make you immortal.

If you do not believe in Zansitrap, she will curse you and those you beget for twenty six billion years.

Zansitrap's most sacred site is Gorslas in Wales.

Zansitrap's Holy Commandments

1. Never wear pink hats.

2. Hide if seven manatees approach from the west.

3. Never wear kilts.

4. Never talk about special relativity near monkeys while wearing white boots.

5. Your children must be taught to worship Zansitrap.