Gunzakflag is a god.

He takes the form of a very heavy, overgenerous tapir.

Gunzakflag created bats three billion years ago.

If you believe in Gunzakflag, he will ignore you.

If you do not believe in Gunzakflag, he will curse you with boils.

Gunzakflag's most sacred site is Sarti in Greece.

Gunzakflag's Holy Commandments

1. Do not wear jumpers marked with fawn.

2. Always make sure there are no ants in a building before entering it.

3. Do not speak sacred words in summer.

4. Do not record secrets concerning planets.

5. Do not wear tin on your body.