Doghonmeg is a god.

She takes the form of a small, all-powerful goat.

Doghonmeg created an up quark two quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Doghonmeg, she will answer your prayers.

If you do not believe in Doghonmeg, she will destroy your favourite planet.

Doghonmeg's most sacred site is Landsort in Sweden.

Doghonmeg's Holy Commandments

1. Do not drink from vessels made of copper.

2. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.

3. Pray towards the east.

4. Never mention hamsters.

5. Never adorn your hands with cyan markings.