Rillwadfar is a god.

It takes the form of a heavy, ill-tempered dove.

Rillwadfar created the world seven thousand years ago.

If you believe in Rillwadfar, it will celebrate by creating some planets.

If you do not believe in Rillwadfar, it will attempt to scare you with earthquakes.

Rillwadfar's most sacred site is Troms in Norway.

Rillwadfar's Holy Commandments

1. Show mercy to disobedient children.

2. Always maintain humility during holy days.

3. Never talk about optics near otters while wearing indigo coats and balancing nine nickel spheres on your hands.

4. Always make sure there are no sharks in a room before entering it.

5. Do not study deoxyribonucleic acid on holy days.