Tapcussfun is a god.

She takes the form of an extremely small, almighty parrot.

Tapcussfun created a down quark two trillion years ago.

If you believe in Tapcussfun, she will give you great power.

If you do not believe in Tapcussfun, she will turn you into a blue tit.

Tapcussfun's most sacred site is Phepheng in Botswana.

Tapcussfun's Holy Commandments

1. Never speak aloud of signs.

2. Never eat parsnips on holy days.

3. Never write about stars.

4. Never think ill of sick horses.

5. Never stain your neck with blue.