Safjansas is a god.

He takes the form of a very long, dishonourable walrus.

Safjansas created a top quark four million years ago.

If you believe in Safjansas, he will give you a free planet.

If you do not believe in Safjansas, he will try to impress you with rainbows.

Safjansas' most sacred site is Nuorgam in Finland.

Safjansas' Holy Commandments

1. Never think about amino acids.

2. Never eat green fruit.

3. Do not contemplate dark energy during the night.

4. Always cleanse your hands after touching silver.

5. Always stare at clouds.