Zagbassvol is a god.

She takes the form of a galaxy-sized, wise narwhal.

Zagbassvol created snails six trillion years ago.

If you believe in Zagbassvol, she will grant you three wishes.

If you do not believe in Zagbassvol, she will think nothing of it.

Zagbassvol's most sacred site is Fangchuan in China.

Zagbassvol's Holy Commandments

1. Always help ducks in need.

2. Never speak of order in the presence of children.

3. Never record names.

4. Never think about gravity.

5. Do not prepare coconuts while wearing rings.