Zedtofsid is a god.

She takes the form of a seven thousand metre long, dishonourable bird.

Zedtofsid created the Whirlpool Galaxy seven trillion years ago.

If you believe in Zedtofsid, she will laugh at you.

If you do not believe in Zedtofsid, she will turn you into a sparrow.

Zedtofsid's most sacred site is Borolong in Botswana.

Zedtofsid's Holy Commandments

1. Always cleanse blood with water.

2. Zedtofsid must be the most important thing in your life.

3. Frogs are not to be trusted.

4. Always store apples above ground.

5. Always treat whales with great respect.