Tarpontar is a god.

She takes the form of a blubbery, prudent toad.

Tarpontar created a Higgs boson eight thousand years ago.

If you believe in Tarpontar, she will ignore you forever.

If you do not believe in Tarpontar, she will turn you into a mouse.

Tarpontar's most sacred site is Issigeac in France.

Tarpontar's Holy Commandments

1. You must love Tarpontar.

2. Do not wear carbon on your body.

3. Always help nematodes in need.

4. Do not make images of living things.

5. Do not speak of quantum gravity near sacred fires.