Wikrenzignil is a god.

He takes the form of a seven thousand metre long, wise tapir.

Wikrenzignil created the planet Venus two million years ago.

If you believe in Wikrenzignil, he will give you lots of grapes.

If you do not believe in Wikrenzignil, he will be mildly annoyed.

Wikrenzignil's most sacred site is Esse in Finland.

Wikrenzignil's Holy Commandments

1. Do not sprint in public.

2. Pray towards the east.

3. Do not drink alcohol.

4. Never eat green fruit.

5. Never feed lots of gooseberries to porpoises while wearing white stockings.