Rakmutdid is a god.

It takes the form of a very fat, fast hyena.

Rakmutdid created dark energy six million years ago.

If you believe in Rakmutdid, it will give you lots of grapes.

If you do not believe in Rakmutdid, it will manifest in front of you.

Rakmutdid's most sacred site is Utti in Finland.

Rakmutdid's Holy Commandments

1. Do not listen to heathen tongues.

2. Always make sure there are no dolphins in a room before entering it.

3. Never touch water while unclean.

4. Never eat gooseberries.

5. Do not drink water in black rooms.