Fumpomzod is a god.

He takes the form of a huge, dishonest crane.

Fumpomzod created a photon eight thousand years ago.

If you believe in Fumpomzod, he will approve.

If you do not believe in Fumpomzod, he will not care at all.

Fumpomzod's most sacred site is Panormos in Greece.

Fumpomzod's Holy Commandments

1. Fast once a month.

2. Never write about thermodynamics.

3. Always pray immersed in water.

4. Always face the south before speaking sacred words.

5. Do not sprint in public.