Hotbarnlarn Tongenbop is a god.

He takes the form of a three hundred metre long, egotistical otter.

Hotbarnlarn Tongenbop created dark energy six million years ago.

If you believe in Hotbarnlarn Tongenbop, he will be surprised.

If you do not believe in Hotbarnlarn Tongenbop, he will boil you in a big pot.

Hotbarnlarn Tongenbop's most sacred site is Pandamatenga in Botswana.

Hotbarnlarn Tongenbop's Holy Commandments

1. Always act with obedience.

2. Never wear blue boots on sacred days.

3. Do not eat parsnips.

4. Always obey Hotbarnlarn Tongenbop's priests.

5. Do not utter prayers while touching silicon.