Larndotzodgan is a god.

She takes the form of an enormous, confident tapir.

Larndotzodgan created the planet Saturn three trillion years ago.

If you believe in Larndotzodgan, she will be surprised.

If you do not believe in Larndotzodgan, she will send twenty eight swans to peck you to death.

Larndotzodgan's most sacred site is Mogonono in Botswana.

Larndotzodgan's Holy Commandments

1. Feed all hungry mice.

2. Never talk about nebulae.

3. Always wash your neck before prayer.

4. Do not sing at mountains.

5. Always look both ways before crossing roads.