Nurlhomgut is a god.

He takes the form of an one thousand metre long, unjust goat.

Nurlhomgut created the Sombrero Galaxy four quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Nurlhomgut, he will grant all your wishes.

If you do not believe in Nurlhomgut, he will name a particularly small and pointless asteroid after you.

Nurlhomgut's most sacred site is Kauvatsa in Finland.

Nurlhomgut's Holy Commandments

1. Fast once a month.

2. Do not prepare aubergines while wearing scarves.

3. Always share lemons with strangers, but never with snails.

4. Never record names.

5. Never think ill of sick otters.