Loopvabquill Bopcemnel is a god.

It takes the form of a very heavy, strong gorilla.

Loopvabquill Bopcemnel created carbon four thousand years ago.

If you believe in Loopvabquill Bopcemnel, it will visit you to thank you.

If you do not believe in Loopvabquill Bopcemnel, it will jump up and down on your head.

Loopvabquill Bopcemnel's most sacred site is Randers in Denmark.

Loopvabquill Bopcemnel's Holy Commandments

1. Do not fashion tools from nickel.

2. Never tolerate cries in holy places.

3. Do not chop down trees.

4. Never pour water over plants.

5. Never speak the names of nebulae aloud.