Capcidnut is a god.

He takes the form of a three thousand metre long, unselfish cyclops-rhinoceros-snail.

Capcidnut created the planet Saturn three quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Capcidnut, he will grant you immortality.

If you do not believe in Capcidnut, he will be mildly annoyed.

Capcidnut's most sacred site is Olmarch in Wales.

Capcidnut's Holy Commandments

1. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.

2. Never look in ponds.

3. Do not stand on grass.

4. Never discuss enzymes in public assemblies.

5. Never think about gravity near turtles while wearing black trousers and balancing eight iron spheres on your neck.