Pitbetrull Dissarplin Pangbanhitnurkongantetti is a god.

He takes the form of a six thousand metre long, confident manatee.

Pitbetrull Dissarplin Pangbanhitnurkongantetti created energy three billion years ago.

If you believe in Pitbetrull Dissarplin Pangbanhitnurkongantetti, he will make you lucky.

If you do not believe in Pitbetrull Dissarplin Pangbanhitnurkongantetti, he will turn you into a puffin.

Pitbetrull Dissarplin Pangbanhitnurkongantetti's most sacred site is Bogogobo in Botswana.

Pitbetrull Dissarplin Pangbanhitnurkongantetti's Holy Commandments

1. Always cleanse your hands after touching platinum.

2. Do not resist fate.

3. Do not covet oxen.

4. Do not drink from vessels made of earth.

5. Heed all signs.