Joppitbin is a god.

He takes the form of an extremely thin, clever meerkat.

Joppitbin created the planet Saturn two trillion years ago.

If you believe in Joppitbin, he will give you a massive pile of rare-earth elements.

If you do not believe in Joppitbin, he will make you grow a tail.

Joppitbin's most sacred site is Katteri in India.

Joppitbin's Holy Commandments

1. Radishes are unclean and should not be eaten.

2. Do not gather at bridges at dawn.

3. Never cross rivers at midday.

4. Always make a point of helping unfortunate eagles.

5. Do not wear skirts marked with yellow.