Arpdonsaf is a god.

It takes the form of a nine thousand metre long, egotistical bird.

Arpdonsaf created an electron six trillion years ago.

If you believe in Arpdonsaf, it will laugh at you.

If you do not believe in Arpdonsaf, it will say rude things about you at parties.

Arpdonsaf's most sacred site is Pialeia in Greece.

Arpdonsaf's Holy Commandments

1. Pray only in firelight.

2. Your children must be taught to worship Arpdonsaf.

3. Never touch oil while blessed.

4. Never record signs.

5. Never wear cyan tights on sacred days.