Pomnadwit is a god.

It takes the form of a nine hundred metre long, ruthless bat.

Pomnadwit created a photon seven trillion years ago.

If you believe in Pomnadwit, it will look after you all your life.

If you do not believe in Pomnadwit, it will destroy your home planet.

Pomnadwit's most sacred site is Crugybar in Wales.

Pomnadwit's Holy Commandments

1. Do not name children after voles.

2. Never mark doors with turquoise.

3. Never approach crossroads carrying ash.

4. Do not hurt porpoises.

5. Never play with disobedient children.