Vabtinquam is a god.

She takes the form of a four hundred metre long, effective cow.

Vabtinquam created the Cigar Galaxy five billion years ago.

If you believe in Vabtinquam, she will visit you to thank you.

If you do not believe in Vabtinquam, she will manifest in front of you.

Vabtinquam's most sacred site is Faux Cap in Madagascar.

Vabtinquam's Holy Commandments

1. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.

2. Never eat green fruit.

3. Pray towards the east.

4. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.

5. Do not dye your hair mauve.