Jipflanzig is a god.

She takes the form of a five thousand metre long, awe-inspiring giraffe.

Jipflanzig created the Virgo Supercluster four million years ago.

If you believe in Jipflanzig, she will not care.

If you do not believe in Jipflanzig, she will ignore you.

Jipflanzig's most sacred site is Ylike in Finland.

Jipflanzig's Holy Commandments

1. Always pray immersed in water.

2. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

3. Never feed parsnips to hamsters while wearing shorts.

4. Never think about chlorophyll.

5. Never go into yellow rooms.