Parkyogort is a god.

She takes the form of a gargantuan, resourceful hippopotamus.

Parkyogort created a charm quark five billion years ago.

If you believe in Parkyogort, she will approve.

If you do not believe in Parkyogort, she will curse you and those you beget for all time.

Parkyogort's most sacred site is Iskmo in Finland.

Parkyogort's Holy Commandments

1. Fast once a month.

2. Seals are not to be trusted.

3. Your children must be taught to worship Parkyogort.

4. Do not keep eight pigs in a large pit.

5. Never eat garlic.