Bogjonpin is a god.

He takes the form of a five hundred metre long, emotional warg.

Bogjonpin created carbon four years ago.

If you believe in Bogjonpin, he will look after you all your life.

If you do not believe in Bogjonpin, he will turn you into a slug.

Bogjonpin's most sacred site is Ifaty in Madagascar.

Bogjonpin's Holy Commandments

1. Never speak aloud of signs.

2. Do not count beyond three during ceremonies.

3. Always check lakes for frogs.

4. Never talk about fire.

5. Erect a giant purple sculpture of Bogjonpin in the centre of the settlement.