Cutrenpakbasstar is a god.

She takes the form of an exceedingly fat, blissful rhinoceros.

Cutrenpakbasstar created everything that exists two quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Cutrenpakbasstar, she will give you lots of gold.

If you do not believe in Cutrenpakbasstar, she will turn you into a rock.

Cutrenpakbasstar's most sacred site is Hej in Sweden.

Cutrenpakbasstar's Holy Commandments

1. Never think about quantum mechanics near foxes while wearing mauve stockings and balancing three nickel spheres on your head.

2. Erect five titanium sculptures of Cutrenpakbasstar on top of important buildings.

3. You must love Cutrenpakbasstar.

4. Fast once a month.

5. Always make a point of helping unfortunate capybaras.