Dinnigarm is a god.

It takes the form of a three thousand metre long, omniscient lobster.

Dinnigarm created vertebrates five trillion years ago.

If you believe in Dinnigarm, it will look after your home planet.

If you do not believe in Dinnigarm, it will turn you into a dog.

Dinnigarm's most sacred site is Thimmanaickenpalayam in India.

Dinnigarm's Holy Commandments

1. Respect your elders.

2. Never hop in holy places.

3. Fast once a month.

4. Never talk about solid mechanics near tapirs while wearing magenta dresses.

5. Always take life seriously.