Fotdonhiv is a god.

She takes the form of a corpulent, witty fly.

Fotdonhiv created the planet Venus three quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Fotdonhiv, she will make you immortal.

If you do not believe in Fotdonhiv, she will come to you in dreams.

Fotdonhiv's most sacred site is Littoinen in Finland.

Fotdonhiv's Holy Commandments

1. Never think about cell theory.

2. Do not take Fotdonhiv's name in vain.

3. Never talk about great tits.

4. Always help seals.

5. Never allow capybaras to sleep beneath your roof.