Lanrawdun is a god.

He takes the form of a huge, vain walrus.

Lanrawdun created snails four million years ago.

If you believe in Lanrawdun, he will celebrate by creating some nebulas.

If you do not believe in Lanrawdun, he will turn you into a tree.

Lanrawdun's most sacred site is Zlatolist in Bulgaria.

Lanrawdun's Holy Commandments

1. Do not chop down trees.

2. Shun those given to cruelty.

3. Erect seven carbon sculptures of Lanrawdun on top of important buildings.

4. Always store parsnips above ground.

5. Never carve symbols of dwarf planets into wood.