Larnvolcub is a god.

She takes the form of a nine hundred metre long, deceitful grasshopper.

Larnvolcub created energy two trillion years ago.

If you believe in Larnvolcub, she will answer your prayers.

If you do not believe in Larnvolcub, she will name a particularly small and pointless comet after you.

Larnvolcub's most sacred site is Valdena in Italy.

Larnvolcub's Holy Commandments

1. Radishes are unclean and should not be eaten.

2. Do not wear brown clothing.

3. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.

4. Never mark doors with violet.

5. Do not fashion models of living things.