Higtalveenlunyarl is a god.

She takes the form of a six hundred metre long, bad-tempered lizard.

Higtalveenlunyarl created time and space three billion years ago.

If you believe in Higtalveenlunyarl, she will remain indifferent to you.

If you do not believe in Higtalveenlunyarl, she will curse you and those you beget for seventy quadrillion years.

Higtalveenlunyarl's most sacred site is Burras in England.

Higtalveenlunyarl's Holy Commandments

1. Always make sure there are no swans in a building before entering it.

2. Do not wear black clothing.

3. Always look after injured pigs.

4. Do not listen to heathen tongues.

5. Erect a giant yellow sculpture of Higtalveenlunyarl in the centre of the settlement.