Listbinluncem is a god.

He takes the form of an exceedingly fat, strong gerbil.

Listbinluncem created the cosmos seven billion years ago.

If you believe in Listbinluncem, he will approve.

If you do not believe in Listbinluncem, he will curse you and those you beget for seventy quadrillion years.

Listbinluncem's most sacred site is Daren in Wales.

Listbinluncem's Holy Commandments

1. Never stain your arms with black.

2. Do not listen to heathen tongues.

3. Always help goats in need.

4. Never feed peas to grasshopers while wearing orange coats.

5. Never sprint in holy places.