Tonbin is a god.

It takes the form of a seven hundred metre long, bad-tempered squid.

Tonbin created bats three trillion years ago.

If you believe in Tonbin, it will approve.

If you do not believe in Tonbin, it will turn you into a tree.

Tonbin's most sacred site is Yerakini in Greece.

Tonbin's Holy Commandments

1. Fast once a month.

2. Never paint your legs yellow.

3. Always make sure there are no birds in a building before entering it.

4. Do not wear tights marked with indigo.

5. Never discuss cell theory in public assemblies.