Gonvollip Sastipgep is a god.

He takes the form of a nine thousand metre long, cheerful penguin.

Gonvollip Sastipgep created an atom nine billion years ago.

If you believe in Gonvollip Sastipgep, he will grant all your wishes.

If you do not believe in Gonvollip Sastipgep, he will turn you into a snail.

Gonvollip Sastipgep's most sacred site is Rautio in Finland.

Gonvollip Sastipgep's Holy Commandments

1. Do not speak of quantum mechanics near sacred fires.

2. Do not resist chaos.

3. Draw representations of moons on the walls of your dwelling place.

4. Erect a large gold sculpture of Gonvollip Sastipgep on top of all buildings.

5. Never talk about the weak nuclear force near sheep while wearing red jumpers.