Yartgut is a god.

She takes the form of a very small, idiotic beaver.

Yartgut created Asia seven trillion years ago.

If you believe in Yartgut, she will be very happy.

If you do not believe in Yartgut, she will turn you into a sheep.

Yartgut's most sacred site is Askos in Greece.

Yartgut's Holy Commandments

1. Do not prepare peas while wearing tights.

2. Run away if three great tits approach from the south.

3. Never think ill of sick foxes.

4. Never talk about the strong nuclear force near horses while wearing red scarves and balancing six zinc spheres on your face.

5. Always wear black.