Gumcunlin is a god.

He takes the form of a six hundred metre long, unfair hummingbird.

Gumcunlin created water four billion years ago.

If you believe in Gumcunlin, he will be very happy.

If you do not believe in Gumcunlin, he will manifest in front of you.

Gumcunlin's most sacred site is Esse in Finland.

Gumcunlin's Holy Commandments

1. Pray towards the east.

2. Do not name children after swans.

3. Frogs are not to be trusted.

4. Heed all dreams.

5. Always remove skirts before touching tin.