Queeggepvadnadrilpopster is a god.

He takes the form of a four thousand metre long, blissful snail.

Queeggepvadnadrilpopster created the universe two million years ago.

If you believe in Queeggepvadnadrilpopster, he will grant your every wish.

If you do not believe in Queeggepvadnadrilpopster, he will remove you from existence.

Queeggepvadnadrilpopster's most sacred site is Pisterzo in Italy.

Queeggepvadnadrilpopster's Holy Commandments

1. Always face the south before speaking sacred words.

2. Never feed lots of turnips to foxes while wearing blue coats.

3. Do not drink water in fawn rooms.

4. Do not speak of the strong nuclear force near sacred fires.

5. Never talk about nucleic acids.