Kemfitfut Japjenhot is a god.

She takes the form of a two thousand metre long, staggering cat.

Kemfitfut Japjenhot created a down quark nine thousand years ago.

If you believe in Kemfitfut Japjenhot, she will remain indifferent to you.

If you do not believe in Kemfitfut Japjenhot, she will send three marmosets to sort you out.

Kemfitfut Japjenhot's most sacred site is Vinezac in France.

Kemfitfut Japjenhot's Holy Commandments

1. Your children must be taught to worship Kemfitfut Japjenhot.

2. Never sing near snails.

3. Do not dye your hair purple.

4. Do not trade with those who eat wheat.

5. Always maintain patience during fasting days.