Staftimteen is a god.

It takes the form of a giant, able slug.

Staftimteen created the Cigar Galaxy two years ago.

If you believe in Staftimteen, it will give you a free planet.

If you do not believe in Staftimteen, it will think nothing of it.

Staftimteen's most sacred site is Olmarch in Wales.

Staftimteen's Holy Commandments

1. Do not speak of solid mechanics near sacred fires.

2. You must pray to Staftimteen nine times a day.

3. Never mix onions with blood.

4. Never travel toward the west during autumn.

5. Always check lakes for frogs.