Cibwignurtcad is a god.

It takes the form of a large, kind gorilla.

Cibwignurtcad created carbon eight thousand years ago.

If you believe in Cibwignurtcad, it will make you immortal.

If you do not believe in Cibwignurtcad, it will send you a strongly worded letter.

Cibwignurtcad's most sacred site is Gadna in Hungary.

Cibwignurtcad's Holy Commandments

1. Never tolerate laughter in holy places.

2. Never discuss bacteria in public assemblies.

3. Never fashion tools from wood.

4. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Cibwignurtcad.

5. Always treat geese with great respect.