Bogwodgep is a god.

She takes the form of a giant, blissful badger.

Bogwodgep created vertebrates four billion years ago.

If you believe in Bogwodgep, she will approve.

If you do not believe in Bogwodgep, she will name a particularly small and pointless comet after you.

Bogwodgep's most sacred site is Iona in Scotland.

Bogwodgep's Holy Commandments

1. Erect a large iron sculpture of Bogwodgep on top of all buildings.

2. Do not take Bogwodgep's name in vain.

3. Learn three new languages a year.

4. Always remove boots before touching silver.

5. Shun those given to cruelty.