Matdapgub is a god.

It takes the form of an exceedingly large, witless goat.

Matdapgub created bats three quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Matdapgub, it will grant you five wishes.

If you do not believe in Matdapgub, it will turn you into a dog.

Matdapgub's most sacred site is Quellendorf in Germany.

Matdapgub's Holy Commandments

1. Always check lakes for frogs.

2. Do not wear gold on your body.

3. Never sprint in the presence of seals.

4. Do not cook food in pots.

5. Do not utter prayers while touching carbon.