Bapfotnull is a god.

He takes the form of a slim, duplicitous hamster.

Bapfotnull created water two billion years ago.

If you believe in Bapfotnull, he will give you great power.

If you do not believe in Bapfotnull, he will destroy your home planet.

Bapfotnull's most sacred site is Farnetta in Italy.

Bapfotnull's Holy Commandments

1. Do not travel during spring.

2. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.

3. Never eat peanuts.

4. Do not listen to music.

5. Erect six zinc sculptures of Bapfotnull on top of important buildings.