Kapvabjarn is a god.

She takes the form of a microscopic, conceited deer.

Kapvabjarn created everything that exists six quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Kapvabjarn, she will look after you all your life.

If you do not believe in Kapvabjarn, she will have an extremely low opinion of you.

Kapvabjarn's most sacred site is Kardous in Egypt.

Kapvabjarn's Holy Commandments

1. Never look at galaxies.

2. Always make sure there are no nematodes in a room before entering it.

3. Do not drink water in violet rooms.

4. Put Kapvabjarn first in all things.

5. Never cross forests at dusk.