Gedkonpak is a god.

She takes the form of a corpulent, staggering dragonfly.

Gedkonpak created vertebrates four trillion years ago.

If you believe in Gedkonpak, she will laugh at you.

If you do not believe in Gedkonpak, she will send five hundred and sixty eight geese to peck you to death.

Gedkonpak's most sacred site is Goldcliff in Wales.

Gedkonpak's Holy Commandments

1. Never travel toward the south during autumn.

2. Always remove shoes before entering holy places.

3. You must never eat wheat.

4. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

5. Do not prepare melons while wearing dresses.