Jenzanbon is a god.

He takes the form of a galaxy-sized, bad-tempered toad.

Jenzanbon created the universe three thousand years ago.

If you believe in Jenzanbon, he will laugh at you.

If you do not believe in Jenzanbon, he will jump up and down on your head until it really hurts.

Jenzanbon's most sacred site is Mogonono in Botswana.

Jenzanbon's Holy Commandments

1. Do not place grapes upon stone.

2. Never talk about spacetime near whales while wearing indigo skirts.

3. Do not drink alcohol.

4. Never think about quantum gravity near mites while wearing orange ear rings and balancing six titanium spheres on your face.

5. Never bounce near snails.