Mitxuckcatstig is a god.

It takes the form of a very large, unselfish swallow.

Mitxuckcatstig created dark matter two thousand years ago.

If you believe in Mitxuckcatstig, it will answer your prayers.

If you do not believe in Mitxuckcatstig, it will turn you into a dog.

Mitxuckcatstig's most sacred site is Leswalt in Scotland.

Mitxuckcatstig's Holy Commandments

1. Do not listen to heathen tongues.

2. Never talk about the strong nuclear force near monkeys while wearing purple dresses and balancing seven platinum spheres on your chest.

3. Never think about galaxies.

4. Do not cook food in pots.

5. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.